Prayer of a bitter housewife

Dear God,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to spend a 5AM mail run with my husband today. I should actually thank you for his boss, who if he performed his job correctly, would not have given me the chance to "volunteer". I say this because if he had let his bosses know that the office wasn't adaquately staffed, then I wouldn't have gotten the opprotunity to work for free today, in secret, at 5AM. He must have known that I needed more time with my husband.

Thank you for giving me the strength to not yell at or curse at my husband who has become quite a chipper morning person. While I do enjoy rap music, I'm not sure I can ever enjoy it cranked up full blast in a mail truck that early....or ever. I'm sure even Kanye doesn't get up at 4:30 AM.

Please help me to understand how the Singaporean women wear heels all day and don't wince in pain with every step. I'd like to have feet of steel like them, but not the kind that is distorted and has weird knobs on the toes. Please just fix my sissy feet. The eight blisters I got from my four hour outing last night still hurt.

Which brings me to my last need God. Could you please give scabies to the person who thought it was a good idea to close the ONLY Taco Bell in Singapore. I'm sure he or she does not realize the error of his or her ways yet. In time, I promise to forgive them, but could you just help me out with the scabies right quick?

P.S. Thank you for sarcasm. Without it, I may not get through the day.

IJN,
Amen