"Fun Run" is an oxymoron

I never did understand the people that list working out and running as hobbies. I've never enjoyed sweating or pain in general. I mean, why in the hell would you choose kicking your own ass over watching a movie, going out for drinks or dare I say it, hunting? Yes, I'd rather go hunting than work out. (That's saying a lot because I'm deathly afraid of guns.) But seriously, those are hobbies that I understand. Making yourself hurt and sweat on purpose? No thanks.

So when my friend Danielle asked me to participate in yesterday's Navy Birthday 5K Fun Run with her, I was more than hesitant. However, community involvement and being a good friend made me say yes. But for the record, I was not looking forward to it.

I got my butt up at 7:45 on a Saturday (which should qualify me for friend of the year anyway) and walked over to the starting line for our 8 o'clock whistle. We made our way to the back of the pack so not so many people would notice if I passed out/puked. Then we were off. At first, I did pretty good for my usual running ability. I even surprised myself. I ran a good chunk of the course. Walking around Singapore for the last 5 months has paid off. However, the glory was short lived. I hit my limit around the time I ran past my flat for the third time. Then Danielle told me that we're only half through.

"Shut....up....?!!!! Are you kidding me? What kind of self-inflicted torture game is this?"

Yeah, I sucked the last part of the race and walked most of the time. I didn't even cross the finish line which was, literally, ten feet from where I quit. Danielle's husband tossed me my free t-shirt and I walked my out of shape butt over to the Gatorade. Screw that crap. I was done.

So today I have muscle aches in places I didn't know I even had muscles. It hurts to laugh, sneeze, walk and move in general. My suspicions about this "fun" activity were correct. Running is not fun. You know what is fun? Sitting on my butt and drinking wine to numb the pain today. That's more my speed. Let's have a "Fun Sit Around the House" activity. I'd sign up for that all day.

(Danielle, I did have fun in the hanging out part. Please don't let my extreme disdain for physical activity convince you that I didn't appreciate what you were trying to do. I'm sure my muscles will forgive you one day. Ha.)

(Oh and Sis, you and your skinny, little, in shape butt are NOT allowed to comment on my laziness. You are the only Heffley who enjoys working out or at least lies and says she does. :) Love you.)